FOMO's

You’re in college and you want to have the most fun.  You’re free to do anything and have no limits.  You want to be plugged in to everything that’s happening because god forbid, you miss out on a fun time.  You’re disappointed when somewhere else fun is happening, and you’re not there.  There’s a lot of these people running around, and I like to call them FOMO’s, (fear of missing out-ers).

Non-committal - These are the people that never commit to anything.  They stay on the fence and don’t want to be tied down by one activity.  They’re constantly waiting and hoping that something better will come along and they won’t miss out.  As a first year, these people constantly wander the halls just checking on what other people are doing, sort of monitoring.  If you ask them if they have any plans, they’ll say “no plans, just seeing what’s going on?”  In the worst case, I’ve heard FOMOs explain how they use their free time with only wishy washy philosophical jargon: “I’m really spontaneous, and love having spontaneous fun, like if you said let’s go camping tonight, I would totally do it” 

Rant on spontaneity - Here’s a quick rant at those philosophical types.  There aren’t enough people or opportunities to sustain spontaneous fun all the time.  You can have really fun spontaneous days, but most days, spontaneous people sit waiting around for something to happen, just waiting.  Everyone else has some type of schedule they use to keep their life straight.  Maybe you should too.

First year FOMO’s (FYFOMO's) - Many first years are scared to commit a day, an afternoon, or a weekend to something.  They’re scared they’ll miss something at UVA.  They’re scared that while they’re away, so much fun will happen, so many better things will take place and they’ll be outside the fun circle.  Reality check, most weekends at college are about the same.  Seen one, seen them all (exception: Halloween).  The weekend you give up can be replaced by a basically identical experience the next weekend.  But that special weekend commitment doesn’t happen every weekend.  You don’t a second chance at that.  Be committal and adventurous and do something different, even if you have to give up your whole weekend, because honestly a standard weekend at college is not as valuable as you think.

Opportunity Cost - These FOMO’s live their lives constantly searching for the next thing instead of enjoying the present as much as they should.  It’s hard to look at a situation and constantly say that this is best option for me, that this is the most fun, that there is no place I’d rather be than right here.  But if you can do that or at least act like it, if you can honestly be happy about where you are all the time, you’ll be a whole lot more fun to be around.

Spacey - Another problem with FOMOs is that they are not much fun to be around, they never give you their undivided attention.  Their fun radar is constantly searching for maximizing fun, so their eyes and minds wander as they converse with you, and then you just feel disrespected.  Stop worrying about missing out, most of the time the thing you’re doing is the best option, so give it your full attention and others will enjoy your company a lot more.

So, don’t be a FOMO, commit to things, and give each situation your full attention.

Who does more work?

In college we run into friends in passing all the time.  Between classes, at the dining hall, out on the town, a bunch of different places.  Most quick conversations go something like this.  One person asks how the other is doing.  The other complains about the work they have.  The first person gives their condolences and then counters with their own complaints about their work.  Most of the time they don’t even wait until the question has been re-asked.  Misery has company.  Here’s a novel idea and a true challenge to most:  Don’t talk about all the work you have to do, talk about something else.

If you actually accept this challenge, you’ll quickly realize how much (or how little) you complain about work.  You realize how much of the conversation was spent talking about papers, projects, and teachers.

We all go to UVA, we all have homework.  Let’s not be competitive about who has it worse.  Let’s not go around complaining and comparing workloads.  Don’t think and complain about having a paper due and an exam on the same day, think about how lucky you are that you’re getting a degree from college.  Think about how you’re slated to earn a million more dollars in your career than a non-collegian.  Think about how fortunate you are to spend four years in college around some of the coolest people you’ll ever meet.  Think about all those things, and then decide if having 3 exams in 2 days is worth complaining about to someone you only see once a week.

If we stop talking about the work we have to do, we can start talking about each other’s actual life.  Because in real friendships, you talk about more things than whether or not they’ll make a 5 PM deadline for that 12 page paper.  Once we stop talking about our work, we can talk about how we’re really doing.  About how we’re feeling, about our family, about our friends, about our experiences, about the things that actually matter.

Jorts--An American Tradition

So I scanned the internet for an article supporting wearing jorts.  Funny thing, I couldn’t find any, so I wrote my own.  From all the negative stereotyping, it’s possible that standard jorts-wearing people don’t waste time writing articles to an audience of 4, but I do.

What are Jorts?  Before I delve into the deep political, economical, and social benefits of jorts, I need to quickly define what is and what are not jorts.  Jorts are denim jeans that were first long legged.  But, after some wear, enough to break in the jeans, the owner decides to cut them off.  There is much debate as to the proper location to cut the jeans, but the best length is 3-4 inches above the knee, and it has to be above the knee; if you’re looking for a tailor I recommend Kevin Carter.  When cutting, make sure to take your time and use a sharp knife or scissors to keep the fray under control.  You’re hoping for a snug feel and the freedom to let your knees breathe beneath a small fray.

When can I wear them?  Seeing people in jorts is definitely a privilege, especially since it’s hard to pull it off in the standard public, especially if you’re looking to be employable in a few months.  To wear jorts you need three things:  Friends, America and Beer.  Luckily that’s not too restrictive, but it does cancel out class.  Here are a few great examples of when jorts are acceptable and possibly encouraged.  Playing corn-hole on the weekend.  Going to a theme-party.  Going Camping.  Going to your first NASCAR race.  Riding an ATV.  The goal when wearing jorts is to be outside in America with a cold beverage in your hand at all times, so that’s the opportunity you’re looking for.  Theme parties might sound like a stretch until we look at the political, economical, and social benefits.

What are the benefits?  The instant political benefit is everyone knows you love America, and that’s a big deal.  The first economical benefit is extending the shelf-life of your jeans.  If you’re jeans are tattered around the ankles or you got a few too many grass stains or stepped in who knows what, just make them into jorts, and save yourself from throwing them out or hiding them in the duldrums of your closet.  The second economical benefit is you won’t have to buy nice beer, because you can’t drink Stella when wearing jorts.  The social benefits are by far the best.  If you’ve followed the rules of jorts-wearing, you’ll be in a great spot.  Socially you’ll be outside enjoying America with cold beverages and having a good time with your friends.  The other benefit is people can’t NOT talk about them.  If you’re with someone where they don’t know what to talk about, I guarantee they'll eventually say “I like your jorts.”  This line isn’t always a compliment, but it’s always a talking point and boom, social benefit.

Jorts may never be fashionable, but they’ll always be comfortable and American.

Cell Phone Ringtones

Here’s a fun game to play with your family, or better yet your significant other’s family.  At any family gathering, especially holidays, tell everyone to take out their cell phones and play their ringer and you try to guess which person has which ringer.  Here’s a quick description of the types of people you’ll run into based solely on their ringtone.

Silent -  College kid.  No one else’s time is that important.  They don’t want to bother others with their phone going off.  Actual calls are clearly less important than text messages because they miss basically every call.  They love deciding when to check their phone, possibly when actual face to face conversations have died, and they also love having missed texts.  You know, that feeling when you check your phone and boom, 6 new text messages.  Ah, that’s a good day.

Vibrate-  College kid still looking for a job.  They’ve recently changed to vibrate after missing a few unknown number phone calls.  They hold onto hope that the call is from a prospective employer when most of the time it turns out to be some random number or something unimportant and further validates why they don’t answer unknown numbers.  They like knowing when their texts have arrived, but they don’t immediately respond to texts, and still use texting to avoid lulls in the conversation.

“All the single ladies” ringtone – Clearly the wild aunt.  She may or may not be married.  She’s trying to stay hip with the girls.  She’s also really excited that she knows how to work a smart phone and thinks it will impress the younger crowd.  If your family doesn’t have a wild aunt, the prototype you’re looking for comes from Mean Girls.

“Riding Dirty” ringtone – Cousin who forgot to upgrade.  This is the guy that was cool back in the day.  Remember 4 years ago when everyone had this ringtone.  Unfortunately the real life hit this cousin like a train wreck and they’ll never gotten around to upgrading their ringtone or their phone.

“Loud Beeps” - Parents.  They’re happy with their lives and really like all the gadgets on their cell phones.  Unfortunately they can never agree on a ringtone.  They say things like “I just want it to sound a normal telephone ring.” Well of course, there are no options like that on current cell phones.  When it rings, they hop around and try to locate where they put it last.  Often they pick up their spouse’s phone by mistake, before correcting themselves.

“Deafening Beeps” Grand-parents.  They were forced to get a cell-phone to put their children at ease.  We’ll use it for emergencies only, or just when we’re out driving.  So reluctantly the grand-parents got the phone and use it more than they expected.  --Side Note: Don’t text grandparents.  I recently checked my grandpa’s and they were 7 unread messages dating back 18 months.-- Even though many people didn’t know phone ringtones could reach this decibel level, it doesn’t bother or affect the grandparents.  They’ll be having a friendly conversation and their phone will go off.  Everyone in the room will acknowledge it except for them.  They’ll continue nodding with the conversation.  Someone will chime it, “your phone is ringing.”  “What?”  “Your PHONE is ringing!”  This interchange will happen long enough so they miss the call.

That’s the funny thing about cell phones.  It goes full circle.  Kids don’t pick up the phone because they don’t have enough time to talk and grandparents don’t pick up because they don’t have enough time to pick up.  Either way both calls go unanswered.

Tuesday's Tip of the Day #9

When eating at a dining hall, especially newcomb, always remember 'fork first'

Quotable Mondays #9

"On a Scale of 1 to 10... where should I go to find a shot glass?"

What is ABW?

ABW is a theme my apartment has lived by for the last two years.  More succinctly, it’s a way of life.  It describes what we’re doing most often when we’re in the apartment, and quite frankly we’ve gotten very good at it after two years.

ABW stands for Anything But Work.  This can be anything you choose to do, and the only rule is you must have work you should be doing instead.  Reading Sports Illustrated in the hammock is ABW.  So is watching country music videos on CMT.  So is stalking Facebook for 30 minutes to find that girl from class.  As is scouring the internet for funny videos to show your friends.  As is taking a 30 minute power nap so your eyes are well rested to read for biology.  Talking to your roommates about your day is ABW.  Watching the end of a sports game where the outcome is certain and has been certain for the last 10 minutes is ABW.  Throwing the volleyball in the apartment, mainly to prove that your parents don’t reign over you anymore because they can’t tell you to stop, is ABW.  So ABW is seemingly limitless.

The benefits of ABW. One of the best parts of ABW is telling it to someone else.  What are you guys doing today?  Probably just ABW. -- You can act like you have a schedule or something you’re actually suppose to do when in fact it means you don’t have plans at all.  Or better yet, saying I have a lot of ABW to do.  This makes you sound important.  It makes you feel valued.  I’m a busy man and my time is important, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to do all the ABW I want to do, when in fact it’s an oxymoron saying you have a lot of nothing to do.

Next time, you’re procrastinating and someone asks you what you’re doing, don’t talk about procrastination or work.  Calmly respond with “just catching up on some ABW.”