FOMO's

You’re in college and you want to have the most fun.  You’re free to do anything and have no limits.  You want to be plugged in to everything that’s happening because god forbid, you miss out on a fun time.  You’re disappointed when somewhere else fun is happening, and you’re not there.  There’s a lot of these people running around, and I like to call them FOMO’s, (fear of missing out-ers).

Non-committal - These are the people that never commit to anything.  They stay on the fence and don’t want to be tied down by one activity.  They’re constantly waiting and hoping that something better will come along and they won’t miss out.  As a first year, these people constantly wander the halls just checking on what other people are doing, sort of monitoring.  If you ask them if they have any plans, they’ll say “no plans, just seeing what’s going on?”  In the worst case, I’ve heard FOMOs explain how they use their free time with only wishy washy philosophical jargon: “I’m really spontaneous, and love having spontaneous fun, like if you said let’s go camping tonight, I would totally do it” 

Rant on spontaneity - Here’s a quick rant at those philosophical types.  There aren’t enough people or opportunities to sustain spontaneous fun all the time.  You can have really fun spontaneous days, but most days, spontaneous people sit waiting around for something to happen, just waiting.  Everyone else has some type of schedule they use to keep their life straight.  Maybe you should too.

First year FOMO’s (FYFOMO's) - Many first years are scared to commit a day, an afternoon, or a weekend to something.  They’re scared they’ll miss something at UVA.  They’re scared that while they’re away, so much fun will happen, so many better things will take place and they’ll be outside the fun circle.  Reality check, most weekends at college are about the same.  Seen one, seen them all (exception: Halloween).  The weekend you give up can be replaced by a basically identical experience the next weekend.  But that special weekend commitment doesn’t happen every weekend.  You don’t a second chance at that.  Be committal and adventurous and do something different, even if you have to give up your whole weekend, because honestly a standard weekend at college is not as valuable as you think.

Opportunity Cost - These FOMO’s live their lives constantly searching for the next thing instead of enjoying the present as much as they should.  It’s hard to look at a situation and constantly say that this is best option for me, that this is the most fun, that there is no place I’d rather be than right here.  But if you can do that or at least act like it, if you can honestly be happy about where you are all the time, you’ll be a whole lot more fun to be around.

Spacey - Another problem with FOMOs is that they are not much fun to be around, they never give you their undivided attention.  Their fun radar is constantly searching for maximizing fun, so their eyes and minds wander as they converse with you, and then you just feel disrespected.  Stop worrying about missing out, most of the time the thing you’re doing is the best option, so give it your full attention and others will enjoy your company a lot more.

So, don’t be a FOMO, commit to things, and give each situation your full attention.

Who does more work?

In college we run into friends in passing all the time.  Between classes, at the dining hall, out on the town, a bunch of different places.  Most quick conversations go something like this.  One person asks how the other is doing.  The other complains about the work they have.  The first person gives their condolences and then counters with their own complaints about their work.  Most of the time they don’t even wait until the question has been re-asked.  Misery has company.  Here’s a novel idea and a true challenge to most:  Don’t talk about all the work you have to do, talk about something else.

If you actually accept this challenge, you’ll quickly realize how much (or how little) you complain about work.  You realize how much of the conversation was spent talking about papers, projects, and teachers.

We all go to UVA, we all have homework.  Let’s not be competitive about who has it worse.  Let’s not go around complaining and comparing workloads.  Don’t think and complain about having a paper due and an exam on the same day, think about how lucky you are that you’re getting a degree from college.  Think about how you’re slated to earn a million more dollars in your career than a non-collegian.  Think about how fortunate you are to spend four years in college around some of the coolest people you’ll ever meet.  Think about all those things, and then decide if having 3 exams in 2 days is worth complaining about to someone you only see once a week.

If we stop talking about the work we have to do, we can start talking about each other’s actual life.  Because in real friendships, you talk about more things than whether or not they’ll make a 5 PM deadline for that 12 page paper.  Once we stop talking about our work, we can talk about how we’re really doing.  About how we’re feeling, about our family, about our friends, about our experiences, about the things that actually matter.