Quotable Mondays #3

Last Week's winner was Reed Bernick, he was a whiz in class discussions.

This week:

"You know what's gross? I don't remember the last time I showered"

Best Isn't Good Enough

Remember the philosophies of elementary school.  Dream big. If you put your mind to it, you can be whatever you want.  Well eventually, these dreams die.  You thought you could do anything, but then you find out, that not everyone can be a major league ballplayer.  That there are only 30 NBA teams, and there aren’t enough roster spots for everyone who wants to play in NBA.  Or maybe you’re like Dwayne and can’t be a pilot because you’re color blind.  Eventually the harsh reality hits us, and we compromise our dreams.

Now that I got a little off topic, let’s go back to the other elementary philosophy: Give it your best shot.  This is completely true.  Whatever you do, you should give it 100% (I’m a statistics nerd, and you can’t give more than 100%, so I would never say give 110% since it is impossible.)  It’s a waste of your time to do something half-heartedly.  If you commit to something, you better give it your all.

Side rant: How silly does this sound? One of my high school friends took the SAT with almost no preparation just to see how she would do.  She clearly didn’t give her best, nor did she try to give it her best shot.  No matter what, you practically gain nothing from the experience.  Even if you’re happy with your scores, you know you could do better if you tried, so you’ll definitely take them again later, making the first test obsolete.  So by gaining the “experience” of a SAT, you lost the test fee and the whole Saturday you used to take the test.  She’ll agree with me that she kind of regretted it, (I think). Basically, if you don’t give it your best shot, you’ll regret it no matter what you do.

Success - Growing up, our best shot normally works.  If we commit to studying for a spelling test, our best will ace the test.  If we commit for an AP exam, we’ll probably be happy with the results.  If we commit to getting into a certain college, we can probably do it.  But eventually, we commit to something, work hard, and seriously give it our best shot, and then we fail. 

Harsh Reality - That is without a doubt one of the worst feelings in life.  That we failed at something we poured everything into.   That all our hard work, dedication, and preparation wasn’t good enough.  Go watch a high school athlete’s final game, more specifically a committed high school athlete.  So many of them have dedicated their high school career to that sport.  They’ve spent countless hours working and training.  But in their final game, their best isn’t good enough, they lose and their state championships dreams die. (unless you play football at Phoebus).  They come up short, and what further validates to me that it’s the worst feeling in life, is seeing them cry.  Most high school boys never cry, and pride themselves on it.  But when our best isn’t good enough, when we fail in our final game, the harsh reality hits us and many athletes cry.

I’m seeing super talented friends come up short a lot these days.  As a fourth year, everyone is trying to a get that dream job and a nice salary.  Many students pour their lives into these resumes, cover letters, and interviews and hope to land their dream job.  But dream jobs are in short supply, and many super talented and super qualified people fail.  They’re told that, we know you gave it your best, but today your best isn’t good enough.

So give it your best, and pray that your best will be good enough.  But understand that giving your best does not guarantee that you’ll be good enough, and it’s just a devastating fact of life.

Courtesy Laugh

Do you ever lol when something isn’t funny? Think about it, do you laugh out loud even though you don’t think what they said was funny.  Unfortunately, most normal people do it all the time, and in fact we’re supposed to do it all the time as well.  I call it a “courtesy laugh” and it pops up in the real world all the time.

Authority - Let’s say you’re networking to someone of authority.  You’re some pee-wee and they’re clearly accomplished.  You’re trying to make small talk and come off as a coherent individual, and you’re probably sucking up to them a little bit too.  So if they say something, that’s supposed to be funny.  We give it the ole double ha.  We’re just trying to communicate that we understand you said something you think is funny, and that we have a high enough social IQ to know when to laugh.  Hopefully your courtesy laugh was properly timed and you continue to hit it off with someone who can hire you or promote you one day.

Small talk - Another great time to use the courtesy laugh is when you’re zoning off during small talk.  You can be at a party, a bar, or just catching up with people.  But clearly you’re not that interested in the conversation, but there’s literally nothing else to do, so you act interested.  You’re thinking of something else but continue to be a good listener.  To not get caught zoning off and being a jerk, if they say something that’s supposed to be funny, you give them a polite courtesy laugh, so you don’t come off as an upper class prick.

Elderly - You can also use the courtesy laugh around the hard of hearing elderly.  A courtesy laugh is the simplest thing to say.  They don’t have to read your lips or ask you to say it again.  So if there’s a time when you’re suppose to laugh, go ahead and belt out another courtesy laugh, and play along with them.  Also, don’t ever try to do an add-on joke with the elderly.  You know, where you play off their joke you’re your own very related funny comment.  You’ll be forced to say it multiple times, and your joke will get less funny each time you repeat it, and finally will only be met with their own courtesy laugh, quite a depressing return.

Flirting - The final and most important time to use the courtesy laugh is when you’re flirting with a cute girl.  Everything a cute girl says is significantly funnier because you’re trying to make her feel good.  Hopefully, she’ll come away thinking, what a sweet and funny guy.  So when a cute girl says something remotely funny, or when she’s expecting a laugh, we’ll definitely be them giving a courtesy laugh.

If you don’t believe me, or don’t think you do this, I challenge you to NOT laugh at things that aren’t funny.  Don’t do any courtesy laughs for a day or two.  You’ll quickly see how awkward the conversation gets, and how there is no filler to let the conversation flow.

So continue to use the courtesy laugh to show off your social IQ, to zone out during small-talk, to speak with the elderly, and to flirt with that cute girl.

Tuesday's Tip of the Day #3

When living in an apartment, try to put at least one utility account in your own name to build up your credit history.

Quotable Monday's #2

Last week's winner was Ray Cuevas.

This week's quote:

"I've cultivated a skill of discussing books I've never seen"

(2010)

3 Must-Haves for College

Three things that will improve your college experience are an umbrella, a planner, and a water bottle. 

Umbrella - High school is long gone and your needs have changed and you need to adjust to the changing time.  One of the initial reactions I hear from 1^st years is that it rains a lot in Charlottesville.  This isn’t completely wrong, but its pretty close.  It rains about the same here as any place in Virginia.  The difference is the rain affects you a lot more in college.  Let’s say it rains from 11 to 2 and is party cloudy at all other times.  In high school, all that happens is you don’t go outside for lunch or gym.  It barely affects your day, and so you might forget that it rained a week later.  However in college, if it rains from 11-2, it really affects you.  You’ll get stuck in the rain between classes or going to lunch.  You’ll remember that it rained because you got wet, your backpack is soaked, and you forgot to take your umbrella.  So after a few situations like this, you’ll conclude that it rains more in college.  Wrong, you just remember the rain easier because of how it affected you, when in fact it doesn’t rain more.  So get an umbrella so you don’t get soaked because walking around in a hoodie doesn’t cut it in college.  And on top of that get a big umbrella.  First, your backpack still gets wet with small umbrellas.  Secondly, you’ll have extra space under your umbrella for a friend or someone that you want to be friends with.

Planner - Buy a planner, use a planner.  There’s only so much time in the day, and there is so much fun to have.  But you need to be able to plan your schedule around others and maximize your fun, so you might as well get a schedule.  In high school, you’re schedule was much more daily.  Same classes everyday, same start and same finish.  Same practice time.  There wasn’t much that differentiated each specific day.  College is much more of a weekly schedule.  Class discussions, meetings, clubs, and practices happen on a weekly basis.  Even lunch is at a different time each day.  But all these events fall into a weekly schedule.  Some people relish being spontaneous.  I have no problem with that.  As long as there is nothing planned, be as spontaneous as you want.  But if you’re constantly spontaneous, you’ll find yourself sitting around waiting for something to happen, instead of doing planned fun events with friends.

Water bottle - Water bottles are really efficient and cost effective.  If you don’t drink tap water, change your mind, we’re in America and our tap water is clean and cheap.  If you already drink tap water, then a water bottle is perfect for you.  College students don’t drink enough water to begin with.  This happens for several reasons, but mainly because we’re lazy and don’t have the resources.  If the water fountain is down the hall, you’re not walking out there just for a sip, no way.  It’s too much work, and you're clearly in the middle of Call of Duty.  If you have a water bottle, you can be lazy and still hydrated.  Who’s the noob now?  Another reason for dehydration in college is the lack of cups.  1^st years don’t have clean cups lying around like you did at home and hate washing cups, so they either can’t find a cup or would rather not wash the cup later, so they'd rather go thirsty than have to wash a cup.  But, water bottles really don’t even need to be washed. And another thing, don’t buy cases of water.  That’s not sustainable and takes up too much room, when a water bottle serves all those functions.

Get an umbrella, a planner, and a water bottle and you'll be ready for rainy days, busy days, and lazy days.

Dish Crisis

The hardest part about living with others is putting up with their personalities and messiness. I’ve been collecting data for awhile on the dynamics of a college house or apartment.  And without a doubt the number one cause of tension within an apartment or house is a dish crisis.

For most of us, we’ve grown up with a dishwasher or at least an overextending Mom.  So dirty dishes were not a problem growing up, and we didn’t really learn how to wash them.  We just know how to put them in the dishwasher.  This creates a huge problem when you live in an apartment with no dishwasher.  So now, each person is required to wash their dishes after using them, which then inevitably leads to a dish crisis.

Time issue- Many college students eat in a hurry and save their dirty dishes for later for when they’ll have more time.  They fully intend to get around to cleaning them, but don’t have the time now.  Most times they’ll clean them later that day, but for certain people it might be a week before they have enough time (cough 3 minutes) to scrub down a pot.  Then there are others that just deny they used dishes.  This stems from high school where the overarching principle was deny everything.  For more serious accusations, it was deny and cry.  So dishes pile up when as they get put off until later.

Selfish issue- I believe everyone is innately selfish and we have to constantly think about it to not be selfish.  This adds to the dish crisis because very few roommates will do the others’ dishes.  Why should I clean up their stuff?  We’re too selfish and stubborn to clean up other people’s crap.

Laziness- Another reason that dishes pile up is that either we’re lazy or we just forget that it was our dish or one of our friends.

So all these factors combine and dirty dishes pile up in almost every apartment.  People say there isn’t enough time to make lunch and clean the dishes before, or they’re just lazy, and no one wants to clean other people’s crap.  So after a few weeks, people start putting passive aggressive notes up, pleading everyone to clean their dishes, because of course they always clean theirs.  These notes further the divide and the tension continues to build throughout the year.

The only way to solve a dish crisis is to have an apartment full of Samaritans that clean more dishes than they use.  They pick up each other’s slack.  There are hardly any of these apartments, so for a great conversation make sure to ask your friends how their dish crisis is going?