You’re fast becoming the person you’re going to be

Often times, we like to imagine the person we’re going to be later.  Later is very broad and can mean later as in when we go to college..., when we have a job..., when we live on our own..., or when we’re married... 

I know I used to imagine these things, and I would naturally take a very optimistic viewpoint of myself and not imagine the baggage or problems I currently have in my life.  I figured I’d have them all fixed or figured out by then, like a fresh start.  It was as if the person I was picturing wasn’t even exactly me, that it was instead a new and completely different person.  The sad truth is that doesn’t happen.  You never get to press reset in life or wipe away all your problems by crossing a milestone in your life.  Instead, you realize you’re quickly becoming the person you’re going to be.

Do you think husbands have similar problems as college kids?  Your first thought might be “of course not,” they’re two completely different people.  Slightly incorrect, that person who is a husband now was a college kid before.  They don’t have to be two different people, just two different stages.  The problems we have stick with the person and are not confined to a certain stage of life.  If you have anger problems in college, have shallow relationships, or you want every girl you see, those problems don’t go away just because you have a ring.  You’re still going to battle all those issues daily.  You can’t change the person just by changing the situation.

Our person and personality is continuous at all points of our life.  Change can happen, but it happens slowly and must be catalyzed by an interior motive.  Just because we move into a different stage in our life doesn’t mean our personality drastically changes all of a sudden.  We’re still the same person we were with the same great qualities and same glaring flaws. 

So today, in this moment, think about the person you want to be.  What does that person do or say?  How do they treat their friends, family, and acquaintances?  Now, think about the person you are today.  If today, you’re not the person you want to be, when is that change going to happen?  And sadly it doesn’t happen just by growing older as most people think.