I had a very clever shout out the other day that sparked this short blog post which runners should enjoy (and post the ones I forgot) and others should take note of. I added my aside comments in parenthesis to each.
Standard
A wave (perfect and appreciated)
A lone finger acknowledging your presence without letting go of the wheel (I’ll take it)
(Honk Honk) (perfect and appreciated)
Almost there!! (Every race volunteer says this after 10% of the race is done, come on!)
Run Forest Run! (You’re not clever)
Nice thighs! (You’re probably insecure about you’re body but my mine looks great and my white muscular thighs)
Who wears short shorts?! (That’s what she said)
Flirty
Heyy sexyyyy (Always feels good)
Looooooking good (Don’t hate it)
Take it off! (Sorry, felt like a jogger today so I left my shirt on)
Mean
A lone finger that isn’t the pointer while letting go of the wheel (Someone’s in a bad mood)
Put a shirt on! (You just jealous)
Other side of the road (No thanks)
Get off the road! (Where am I suppose to go? Not trying to be fat like you)
Dogs
Arf Arf! (Glad there’s a fence)
RUFF RUFFF!! (Please be an electric fence, please be an electric fence)
Don’t worry he won’t bite. (I’m worried, because that’s what the last one said)
Back! Back! Get back here Rusty! (Dumb dog)
He never acts like this, So sorry. (Heard that one a million times)
Oh he’s just playing with you (I would prefer not to play)
Private property {As two dogs surround the runner about to attack} (Sucks)
Strange
Where’s your hydration? (Where’s your hair?)
Hmm. Who’s chasing you? (Loved it)
So next time you see me running, don’t be a dad and ask where’s your hydration and don’t say run forest run, be creative and clever and maybe I’ll remember it. Or just honk or wave and that will suffice.
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